lets start a swedish sibling band together
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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