I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
