I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
