this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
