Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
