my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
