can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
