yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
