Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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