New invention idea: vibrating tampons
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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