I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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