So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
