Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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