The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
