don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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