Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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