2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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