Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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