I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
