Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
