dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She announced her abortion via fbk
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You've changed since you got that strap on
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
