coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
