I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
