Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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