This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
