its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
