Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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