Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
