You work out of a Hotel?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
