All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
why is half of my head shaved?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
