it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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