she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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