Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
