I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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