idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
