After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
