STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
