just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
