No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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