I think i peed on brittanys purse
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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