This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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