Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
