Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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