maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
