she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
