my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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