sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
