I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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