He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
