he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
