Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
