so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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